Each week Ross Rubin contributes Switched On, a column about technology, multimedia, and digital entertainment.
[We have a special treat today -- our Ross Rubin has penned yet another amazing poem, for which we'd officially like to nominate him as Geek Poet Laureate. They have one of those, right? If you enjoyed this, please also check out The Slight Before Christmas, Don't Buy This Stuff, and our all time favorite piece: The Maven, -Ed.]
The Arpus in ARPUville liked gadgets a lot
But a grouch who lived close to ARPUville did not.
How the grouch hated gadgets. He hoped they'd all break.
Even counterfeit knokoffs that kept it real fake.
(And those knockoffs are wrong. Not a soul who is wise'll
Knock off the fine writings of Theodor Geisel.)
Now perhaps it was DRM transfer futility
Or the wonky AC from his local utility
Or the terrible manuals barely grammatical
Or the versions of standards that were incompatible
Or the feature creep that took away from their essence
Or the rapid revamping and quick obsolescence
Or the tech support hotlines that spoke incoherence
Or the wireless networks slowed by interference
Or the UIs that frustrated each simple deed
Or the small LCDs that were so hard to read
But for whatever reasons that made him demonic
The grouch hated all that was made electronic.